Starbucks are evil. I’ve got it all figured out. They lure you in with soothing music and fancy coffees, and you think it’s all peaches and cream. You are comfortable. Relaxed. They even offer you a free refill coffee if you finish the one you have. Then it turns. It becomes abundantly clear they do not want you to stay for more than 20 minutes. A lesson I learned today, when going into London Bridge Starbucks to do some work. They don’t spell it out to you, but you’ll get the hint nevertheless. It starts with the coffee. You realise you’ll never be able to finish the ridiculously huge mug of coffee, so instead of getting a delicious refill, you end up drinking cold coffee. Cold coffee is like old man sweat. My face ends up looking..uninviting for the public to see.
Then the music gets to you. The soothing tunes in the background turns into loud new age crap. It drills into your brain and hatches maracas playing baby eggs. But I won’t be beat. Give me all you’ve got, Starbucks. My ass aint going anywhere.